Turning One

Isla - it is exactly a year since you arrived into the world on a day which I thought would be one of sadness rather than celebration. When I think about it now, I believe you were meant to arrive on the date you did. You were meant to forever change the meaning of that day for us. 

Isla - right from the beginning we knew how precious you would turn out to be. Of course, every baby is a wonderful gift but you were extra-special to us. Tommy will always be extremely special because he was our first-born. He made us parents and taught us how to be Mummy and Daddy. You were special for a very different reason. You were our rainbow, our child brought to us at the very moment we were questioning whether we could put ourselves through the trauma of losing a baby again, whether we would conceive again, whether there was something wrong with either one of us. The day you were born was exactly a year to the day that we were told our second baby had no heartbeat. That day you arrived, you not only completed our family, you also glued together the broken pieces of our hearts. You turned a sad anniversary into a beautiful, happy one. 

Where that year has gone, I have absolutely no idea. We can't believe a whole year has passed since we held you for the first time, yet it is difficult to remember what our life was like without you in it. I remember how scarily tiny you were, how I expected you to look exactly how your brother looked but was surprised instead to see that you were nothing alike. I remember Tommy visiting and staring proudly into your crib. I remember Daddy ringing you to let you be the first person to know you had a sister and you replying "oh thank you!"

 Before you were born, I felt like it was impossible to love a child as much as I loved Tommy. I felt like we couldn't possibly be lucky enough to have such a fantastic child again. I felt like I couldn't become any happier than I already was. You proved me completely wrong. There is equal room in my heart for two after all. You are equally as fantastic as your older brother, very different in some ways, very alike in others but fantastic all the same. Now I am happier than I have ever been because of you. 

I love to see the relationship developing between you and your brother. Yes, there is a struggle a large percentage of the time. Yes you steal his toys, get in his way and mean his time with Mummy and Daddy now has to be shared. He doesn't think much to the situation at times and I've regularly raised my concerns about whether you are going to get along or be close to one another. But he is also fiercely protective of you. He won't let anyone come near you if we are out. He climbs into your crib in a morning and talks gently and kindly to you. He helps you when he sees you struggle to do something by yourself. He plays with you, encourages you, teaches you (albeit rather boisterously). When you go to nursery, he only makes it to just past breakfast before he asks if we can go and collect you. You've made him a big brother and what I hope will be a lifelong best friend so thank you. 

We can't believe how much you have grown and changed during the past 12 months. You've gone from a newborn only capable of pooing, sleeping, crying and feeding to a little girl who is beginning to talk, develop a personality and get pretty much anywhere she wants to. You love music and making lots of noise. When music is played, you can't help but dance. You love to play the fool and certainly know how to make us laugh. You are mischievous and have an understanding of right and wrong, although often choosing to ignore what we tell you to/not to do. Toddlerdom is DEFINITELY on the horizon. 

You are a very cuddly baby, you always have been. Mummy and Daddy cuddles are your favourite but you also like your soft toys and say "ahhhhhhhhh" whilst squeezing them tight. Food is a huge hit with you; we're still on the hunt for something you DON'T like! Nothing makes us laugh more than when you are around food and your mouth opens as wide as it can possibly go, just like a baby bird waiting for the return of its Mum. I imagine this is how you will always communicate your need for food or drink. You are such a noisy baby and always voicing your thoughts or demands. 

You are beautiful. Everybody says so, we're not just biased. You have a twinkle in your eye that captivates everybody and means that you always have them wrapped around your little finger. I've never heard Tommy laugh any more than the way he does when he is with you. 

Isla Gracey Doo (as Tommy calls you), you are already far more than we ever hoped or imagined you would be. You, along with your big brother, give me a reason to be proud every single day. We can't wait to see what the next year with you brings. Love you my little one-year-old rainbow baby.